Book Review/Essay

This has been on my heart for the past few days. I hope that you are encouraged and edified by it!
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I just finished Equipped to Love by Norm Wakefield the other day; a very convicting read! The main theme is building idolatry-free relationships. I was kinda skeptical when I started reading it - wondering how it would apply to me as my concept of idolatry was worshipping wooden idols and such. Nevertheless, not even halfway through, I was convicted of idolatry in my life and how it got there. I would like to share with you my thoughts about the book.

It all starts out with the simple (or not so simple) concept of the two types of love in this world. The World’s love, and God’s love. The World’s love has its source in Self-Love. God’s love has its roots in God through Jesus Christ. The World’s love is motivated by what it can get out of it. God’s love is motivated by what it can give. The purpose of the World’s love is to use, whereas the purpose to God’s love is to be used. To give or to get. To serve or to be served. One is focused on others, the other on ourselves. Once we see how the World’s love has taken hold on our mind and heart, we can see how it has shaped our thinking. The way we view love –or what we think is love- will greatly influence the way that we view people, relate to them, see God, life, and so on.

We will never be able to truly love one another as God does because we are sinners and in need of God’s love ourselves, but we should strive for true and pure love towards one another. As Paul says in Philippians 3:12, “Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.”

First, let me explain a little bit about the concept of idolatry because I think you’d be rather lost without it! Idolatry is not just worshipping an idol made of stone. Whenever you look to something or someone, rather than God, to make you happy, fulfill a need, etc. – you are making that person or thing an idol. The spirit of idolatry suggests that there is more than one god or source of supply for our needs. Norm laid out seven characteristics of the spirit of idolatry, which I’ll run through real fast:

1. The spirit of idolatry proposes that there is more than one god or source of supply

for our needs.

2. The spirit of idolatry attempts to manipulate or control people and situations.

3. The spirit of idolatry makes an idol for self.

4. The spirit of idolatry looks to the creature rather than the Creator to supply happiness which only God can supply.

5. The spirit of idolatry serves many idols.

6. The spirit of idolatry reproduces itself.

7. The spirit of idolatry produces a love/hate relationship.  

Since I won’t be going through all seven of these, suffice it to say that anything we put in the place of God, anything that fulfills our selfish desires is an idol. It may not outwardly appear so, but self is the root of all idols.

You may be wondering how idolatry and love have anything to do with each other, but stay with me, hopefully you’ll be able to see how this all fits together!

One of the main things that struck me about idolatry is the fact that idolatry causes you to look to someone other than God to make you happy, fulfill a need, etc. Going back to the two kinds of love; If we are looking to others to get our needs met, than we are making them an idol and don't have the right kind of love for that person because it's focused on what we can get out of someone - not what we can give them! Norm also stressed the point 'You can't love someone you idolize'. I spent some time pondering that. I came to the conclusion that we can’t truly love someone we idolize with God’s love because we are always seeking our benefit from the relationship. It all goes back to the first point I made; we need to always be looking to the Lord to supply our ‘needs’ because if we don’t, people affect us a lot more. We see them through colored lenses, and on the whole, we aren't nice to be around because we are focused on ourselves. We must love people as God does, always think about what we can do for them, treat everyone with the same kind of God-given love, always have a smile on our face for everybody (yes, everybody!), and look for ways that we can help, encourage, and edify others. Another thing about idolatry is this: Because it causes us to look to people to make us happy, we also give them the power to ruin our day, make us depressed, and throw us into a grumpy mood.

If we had been looking to God knowing that ALL things come from Him, ALL things are in His hand, and He is THE source of everything, then what happened wouldn’t have affected us because we know that good or ill, the Lord orchestrated it for our benefit. Maybe it wasn’t the answer we expected; the job we hoped to get, maybe we’re suffering, but that may be God’s plan to refine us to make us more like Him! We can rest assured knowing that ‘all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose.’ (Rom. 8:28)

                See how this all fits together? Once we put our trust in the Lord for our needs, then we will view those around us as instruments that the Lord is using to shape us and mold us into the people that He wants us to be. So, if a little one is grouchy, if this is the fifth time that you’ve had to clean the kitchen today, going skiing didn’t work out, etc., we know that these events came from God for our good and what we need to do is look to Him and ask Him how He wants us to handle them and what He is trying to teach us. I believe that once we have our mindsets changed and we start viewing the people around us as God does; loving them as God does (and commands us to), then (ladies) we will able to transfer this approach towards the young men in our lives the same way.

We will be able to be truly interested in them, talking to them to encourage them in the Lord, treating them as a brother in Christ. Too many times, we only talk to the young men because we get something out of it, we like the way they make us feel, we like the fact that we are talking to a guy! I’ll reference back here to the two types of love that I mentioned earlier; God’s Love and the World’s Love. Remember the different motivations? The World’s Love is motivated by what we can get out of it, whereas God’s Love is motivated by what it can give. See how this applies? If we loved our brothers in Christ with God’s Love our whole outlook would be changed. While talking to them, we would be thinking about how we could encourage him, how we could strengthen him in the Lord. The focus would be off us and on the Lord. (And, I might add, it would greatly diminish our self-consciousness!) As one author put it, 'Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own.' But if the World’s kind of love has infiltrated out heart, then when we’re talking to a young man, we’ll be thinking about us. What does he think about us? We wonder if our outfit was good enough, if our hair is still perfect, if he knows how eligible we are, etc. See the difference? Now this doesn't just apply to our relationships with the young men around us, it applies to everyone that we come in contact with. And how we love them will reflect back on God.

“By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13:35)

Showing God’s Love to everybody will drastically change the way that we view people and our relationships with those people. I would highly recommend Amy Carmichael’s book “If” about Calvary’s Love. Reading through it greatly convicted me about my lack of love for others, but it also brought hope into my heart, that ‘the Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth.’ (Ps. 145:18) But the main reason I mentioned this little book is what Amy said in one of the last few chapters talking about God’s Love. She says this;

“The picture before us is as of a river. Stand on its banks, and contemplate the flow of waters. A minute passes, and another. Is it the same stream still? Yes. But is it the same water? No. The liquid mass that passed you a few seconds ago fills now another section of the channel; new water has displaced it, or if you please, replaced it; water instead of water. And so hour by hour, and year by year, and century by century, the process holds; one stream, other waters – living, not stagnant, because always in the great identity there is a perpetual exchange. Love takes the place of love; ever new, ever old, ever the same, ever fresh and young, for hour by hour, for year by year, through Christ.”

The picture relates to us in this way: we are that river. We need to be willing to give ourselves up to Christ that He may love through us. We need to be that channel that the river of God’s Love flows through; filling us up so that it spills over to those around us. We need to be willing to sacrifice our desires, wants, pleasures, that we may give to those we come in contact with. Are we willing to do that? ‘Not my will but Thine be done’ rises to our lips. This is impossible for us to do by ourselves, but ‘with God all things are possible.’ I write this not as one who has mastered it, but ‘I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.’ As 1 Timothy 1: 5 says; “The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.” (emphasis mine)
May we all encourage one other in this- as we are fellow soldiers pressing upward on the road that leads to Christ- so that when we stand before the throne of God above, He will say “Well done, thou good and faithful servant.”